I guess I don’t think about words and their meanings the same as other people do. I’ve been thinking a lot about respect and what I deserve as a person and I realized sometimes words don’t matter, it’s the vibe and the person saying it. In my life I have had my share of nasty remarks and names cast my way, but it’s not the “slut”, “bitch”, “cunt” kind of words that ever bothered me. It was words that mean stupid and worthless.
I had horrible self esteem for a long time, a lot because I suffer from depression, but a lot because people are mean. Two women who were supposed to be leaders to me were two of the biggest influences in my downfall in the self esteem world. My teacher called me stupid. That stabs you in the heart. Because a teacher knows when someone is stupid, and they are saying you are that person. Ouch. The second was the Church Secretary. Granted she was angry at me and hated me because I’d been with her son for so long and we had exchanged v-cards, she still told everyone, my dad in range for me to hear included, that I had no goals and was never going to accomplish anything in life and all I wanted to do was sit around and have babies and makes other people support me. Now, that does sound lovely to be, what I call, a stay at home mom, just like she was, but I do have goals and I do plan on accomplishing them thank you very much. She also made it very clear that she thought her son was too good for me and I was holding him back. This lovely woman will be the Grandmother of my niece ladies and gentleman… Poor girls gonna need a good role model like me, that’s why I gotta stick around. But it is hilarious.. clearly both her sons think we are not horrible. I mean I’m not with him anymore but we are friends.
Sorry, really lost sight there… Anyways… Don’t call people stupid. It’s really mean.